How to talk to your parents about assisted living

Like everyone else, seniors deserve a dignified life. They must have someone to speak to and be looked after. However, for various reasons, you may be unable to spend enough time with your parents or fulfill their needs. With their best interest in mind, you might think assisted living is the best choice. Since telling your parents about assisted living may be challenging, here are a few simple tips to begin this talk:

Let them know why you think assisted living is the right decision

You may have good reasons to believe that assisted living is the right option for your elderly parents. However, directly telling them without discussing these reasons may make them feel like their children want to avoid taking responsibility. So, you must be very clear about the whys. It could be because of your relocation to a different city, a job that doesn’t let you spend time with them, your personal life engagements, or something else. The more you explain your reasons, the better they will understand your view rather than assuming you don’t care.

Tell them how you cannot attend to them properly, although you wish to

Seniors often require help with daily activities, such as dressing, taking daily treatment doses, bathing, and eating. However, their children and family members may sometimes find it hard to help, especially when they have their own things to do. Still, directly telling your parents you cannot do anything is wrong because it might upset them.

A better way to express your inability to help is to sit down and talk gently. Tell your parents how much you would like them to be attended to in the best way possible, and though you wish to help, you cannot because of your work, busy schedule, relocation, etc. Then, you may inform them about assisted living facilities, explaining how their quality of life would improve if they moved there. This way, your parents will understand how you want them to be in the best hands.

Avoid broaching the topic over the phone

Since assisted living can be a sensitive topic, it’s best to talk with them one-on-one, in person, instead of picking up the phone. When you’re face to face, you can observe their nonverbal cues and understand their emotions. You can also console them with a reassuring hug or another gesture of warmth and support. So, fix a time and tell them you have something important to say.

Listen to their concerns and opinions with empathy

Your parents may have many worries and may even react negatively to the idea of moving to an assisted living facility, which is quite natural. They are bound to feel unsettled initially when you approach them with this topic. The key here is to be patient and listen to their views without interrupting, however tempted you may feel to respond. By letting them voice their thoughts and being genuinely empathetic, you create a safe, accepting space for them. It will likely make them understand that you mean only the best for them.

Research well

Be alert while looking for assisted living facilities because it’s the question of your parents’ well-being. Creating a checklist of the benefits you’re looking for is a good idea before shortlisting options. While you can read reviews and ask others about the facility, visiting the place is also essential. A personal visit lets you verify whether the center provides the services it advertises on its website and social media handles. It also lets you check whether the facility has the amenities to ensure the seniors’ comfort and hosts activities to engage them mentally.

Besides offering senior-friendly amenities, the facility should be licensed by a body authorized in one’s state, such as the state health or social services department. While checking the assisted living center’s license, verify the staff members’ credentials and levels of experience in assisting senior citizens. The best assisted living facilities fulfill all these requirements while being cost-effective. Once you’re done researching, highlight your findings to your parents to reassure them of their well-being.

Let them have the final word

You may strongly feel that assisted living will help your parents and that they should agree to move there. However, remember that they are adults with their own minds, and how they wish to spend the rest of their lives should be their final decision. So, if they disagree even after you have told them everything about assisted living, let them do what they feel is best for them.