What You Should Know About Moving In With Your Adult Children

Living alone after your adult children have moved out can be part challenging, part invigorating, and part freeing. But sometimes, life throws you a curveball, and you may find yourself considering moving in with your children—for your benefit or theirs or both. That said, before you make the move from an empty nest to a full one, you may have to factor in what this switch brings for you.

Benefits of Moving in With Your Children

Strengthened Connections

Living under the same roof with your children can be a great way of growing emotionally close to them and their family. This connection may not always be possible to achieve with occasional visits over the holidays.

Living in a multigenerational home can help you and your children bond over little things. You may realize that while you enjoy your alone time, you also look forward to exchanging tidbits over coffee with your children, helping grandchildren with homework, and going on evening walks as a family. You may find companionship in these little rituals.

Peace of Mind and Immediate Support

A benefit of living with your children is that you have help with tasks, such as cooking, making appointments, or figuring out how to use a new device. Another benefit of living together is the immediate assistance you can get and offer in case of an emergency.

Sometimes, simply having someone around who knows your routine can add an extra layer of comfort to your daily life. And your children might feel the same way about having you around.

Shared Expenses and Resources

Living in a multigenerational household allows you to divide tasks and expenses. It might be a more affordable option for you and your children. You get to split recurring expenses, such as gas, electricity, and food bills, and one-time expenses like renovation. Not only that, you can divide tasks like cooking, cleaning the house, and going to the grocery store.

What Might Feel Challenging

Adjusting to New Routines

You might be used to your habits and preferences, and so might be your family. These can range from eating meals at specific times and maintaining a certain home environment to having a fixed bathroom schedule.

Your way of living and tending to things might be quite different from that of your children. So, it’s only natural for you—and your children—to need some time to adjust.

Try to approach this shift with flexibility. You may end up discovering a flow that works even better for you.

Having Less Private Space

One of the concerns you might have about the change is privacy in the shared living situation. You might have to share the kitchen counter and bathrooms with the rest of the family. Going from having all rooms to yourself to sharing most spaces with your family can be a challenging adjustment. But there are a few things that you can do to help make this switch easier. Design your own space with small comforts that will help create a feeling of balance and retreat. Bring your books, cushions, and a favorite chair along to make you feel more comfortable in your new environment.

Blurring of Roles and Boundaries

Living under the same roof as your children might cause a blurring of roles. Sometimes you may find yourself with more responsibilities than you can handle or retreating into the life before you were an empty nester. Once you move into your children’s home, the loss of privacy and certain boundaries may become apparent to you. You may also have a hard time dealing with this and setting boundaries. And these changes can impact your children as well. They, too, may experience blurring of roles and boundaries. Something as simple as you and your children trying to help each other out with advice may come across as unsolicited.

Adjusting to someone telling you how to do certain things or to make changes to your routine can require effort. Since you’ve done most things on your own in your adulthood, you might take time getting used to your children helping you with daily tasks.

How to Make It Work Smoothly

If you’re considering the move, think about the ways you can make it easier for you and the family. Begin by having an open and respectful conversation with your children. Learn how their household currently runs and how you can contribute.

If you have a room to yourself, spruce it up with things that bring joy to you. Having a space for yourself can help you maintain your sense of autonomy. In the same vein, respect your children’s private time.

While being with your family is wonderful, stay connected to the world outside, too. Consider joining a walking group, a nearby workshop, or a part-time class at your local community center. This can add some structure to your day, and you get some time to yourself.

Moving in with your family and relearning their daily rhythm and behaviors can take some time to get used to. That said, as the months go by, you’ll notice that you’re more and more comfortable in the not-so-new setup. If living independently works better for you but you still want to be near your children, you can always consider moving into a house in their area. This way, you can maintain your independence while being available for each other often.