Empty Nest? Rediscover Yourself and Passions After 60

Anna Moses fell in love with painting during her childhood. Her paintings gradually evolved from simple compositions brought to life by grape and lemon juice to more vivid reflections of her country life. Eventually, life got in the way. Work and family life took priority over artistry. It was only when she was 78 that she picked up the proverbial paintbrush and painted her life anew, and we got Grandma Moses.

Her story can inspire you to find (or rediscover) personal passions at any stage in your life. You don’t have to wait like Grandma Moses till you’re 78. If you’re an empty nester, this may be just the time for you to reconnect with yourself and rediscover your passion.

Empty Nest Syndrome – What It Is

There’s nothing more joyful than to watch your children grow up and become independent, but there’s a thick film of uncertainty and what’s to come, especially when you watch your children move out. The feeling is bittersweet. The sudden change can bring a sense of loss, uncertainty, and identity shift. While this phase—or the empty nest syndrome as it’s called—is challenging, there’s a lot you can do to help you move past it.

Sometimes, when you’re on the precipice of change, you realise that may be the very impetus you need to build new routines, accomplish personal goals, and rediscover personal passions.

How to Move Forward

Allow Yourself to Self-Reflect

Being alone is not always a bad thing. Spending time alone gives you the opportunity to revisit your happy moments and sometimes the not-so-happy ones. The walk down memory lane can be a good way for you to reflect on core memories and appreciate how you managed to navigate every unique phase in your life.

Take Up Journaling

After your kids leave home, you may wonder “What now?,” or “How do I spend all this time I have on my hands?.” Having such thoughts and questions is perfectly okay.

A good way to deal with these thoughts is to jot them down in a journal. Once you build up the habit of journaling, you’ll find yourself spontaneously writing down about your day, what you wish to do, and how you want your life to look like. Putting pen to paper may be the push you need to explore your passion. You can also try making a vision board and stick it on your closet. Looking at it daily can help you motivate yourself to try something new and get out of your comfort zone.

Understand That This is a Phase

The human brain is a curious thing. It does not like change. But now that you know that, you can make sense of why you feel so lost. You probably had a fixed routine that may have revolved around your children—waking up early to get them to school, planning your meetings and leaves around their vacations, or even buying a minivan instead of a snazzy car because it was the adult (“right”) choice to make. Now that your children are off to college or in another city for work, you may find yourself without a familiar routine. So, slowly build a routine around yourself.

While the brain does resist change, it does have some give. Stick to your habits and new routine, and you’ll find yourself enjoying this new phase.

Practise Self-Care

Michelle Obama recently spoke about seeking professional help after her daughters moved out. “I’m 60 years old, I finished a really hard thing in life with my family intact. I’m an empty nester. And now for the first time, as I’ve said before, every choice I’m making is completely mine,” the former First Lady divulged in a podcast. She continued, “I now don’t have the excuse of, “Well, my kids need this,” or “My husband needs that.” So, how do I think about this next phase, and let me get some help.”

If you find yourself struggling with coming to terms with this new phase, you can consider therapy. If that’s something you’re not onboard with, you can enroll yourself in dance classes, join a bookclub, or load up on gas and go on across-country road trip in the minivan that you begrudgingly bought. Anything that you do for yourself or any act of self-care is therapy.

How to Find New Hobbies

Dare to Experiment

Grandma Moses had a deep inherent love for painting, but what if such a connection is absent? If you don’t have an existing passion or hobby that you can start pursuing with little effort, there’s nothing to worry about. Finding a personal passion may not be as challenging as you think it is.

Keep your mind open to trying out new things. You might discover activities that make you truly happy. For example, you may have never written stories before, but there is always the possibility that you picked up an Agatha Christie novel that led you to spin a detective story of your own. Or it’s conceivable that you looked out of your window in deep despondency about nesting in an empty home, happened to notice your weedy backyard, scoffed at it, decided to spruce it up, and realized that you really enjoy gardening.

Look It Up

Sometimes you don’t even know something exists until someone tells you about it or you come across it on the Internet. Maybe the reason you can’t find your passion is that you don’t know about it yet. So, look it up. The internet is a treasure trove of information, so you may find a hobby that you end up enjoying. For instance, we just learned that worm charming is a thing that people do. Now that doesn’t mean you need to start charming worms by luring them out of the ground with a pitchfork—unless that’s caught your fancy. Instead, you can look up how to make pottery, try coding, or make intricate macrame decor.

Set Daily Goals

Setting daily goals and meeting them not only helps you learn your hobby, but gives you joy every day. Simple goals every day, such as learning one chord on the guitar a week, can help you master the instrument and encourage you to listen to different types of songs and try them out on the guitar.